I turn up in Centrale shopping centre, opposite the pinball machines, and am not too sure what to expect. We are all greeted by “Frankie Foxstone, property developer” (Amy Gwilliam), given high-vis jackets to wear, and treated as fellow property developers working with Frankie, listening to her ideas and advice as she marches (and dances) us through the shopping centre. We stop outside a vacant shop where Frankie tells us that it is important to start with a “blank slate” as one of the main rules for developing. At one point she tells everyone in the tour to rank ourselves according to our net worth, and at another stop we all pretend to be a building to star in her promotional video for “the new Croydon”.
It is really funny how Gwilliam gets us all involved. I find audience participation awkward and there are moments which make me cringe, but I think that's what really makes the character: she is larger than life, and consumed by her ambition to make lots of money out of Croydon. She could be on The Apprentice. The tour also does highlight some of the issues that Croydon faces – shops and buildings left unoccupied or unfinished, for example – and it encourages us to question, but also make light of, the developments currently planned in Croydon.
Overall, the style feels off the cuff and improvisational, and the satire comes across well, making for some real laugh-out-loud moments. Frankie is someone who takes herself too seriously, and is committed to taking over all of Croydon with luxury housing. The Mayor of Croydon better watch out, because Croydon is about to get “CroyDone”.
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